TAXI!!!!!

Honestly, I am fucking absolutely losing my mind over here. I wasn't gonna say anything about Braylon Edwards being a complete asshole and driving his Escalade around at 5:00 am in the morning in the middle of the season drunk off his ass but now reports come out that D'Brickashaw Ferguson and Vernon Gholston were in the car with him.

Are the fucking JETS kidding me, every time they win a fucking game they act like its the freaking Super Bowl. Seriously why are these guys even out at 5:00am when they are 1-1 and telling everyone they are going to win it all. They should be worried about their best fuckin player sitting on the sideline with a pulled hammy and figuring out how they are going to beat their number one rival this weekend.

I am so sick and tired of athletes doing the dumbest shit. Seriously I think athletes who get DWI's have got to be the dumbest people on planet earth. I have zeroooooo income right now and can find some way to get in a cab or some other form of transportation if I was as hammered as Braylon was. Funniest thing is that he is an f'n multimillionaire who could have his billionaire owner send him and the rest of the assholes with him a stretch Rolls-Royce Limo with strippers in the backseat waiting for them in the back seat with Rex Ryan driving the damn thing.

I am rip roaring pissed right now because its just typical JETS bullshit. This whole year has really been an embarrassment. When your number one receiver (until week 5), your all pro-linemen who you just gave a $40 million contract too and your biggest draft bust in the history of your franchise get caught at 5:00am drunk off their asses it's time to pump the breaks. So lets hope that Rex isn't such a pussy and stops kissing everyones ass and starts getting a grip on this team.

Santonio Holmes ASAP

I figured I would sleep on it and possibly wake up this morning and realize that it's only Week 1 and the JETS played an extremely hard hitting tough game with one of the NFL's highest caliber teams, well that didn't fuckin' happen.

First off I am going to get this one out of the way and than move on to the offense. You could not ask more from our D-Line and LB's last night. They made one of the best backfields in the NFL seem non-existent. For fucks sake Ray Rice, McGahee and McClain combined for 49 yards on 31 carries. That is ridonkulous. But our secondary needs to step their shit up. Revis I think had maybe 2 balls thrown within 30 yards of him last night while Antonio "I'll be your baby Daddy" Cromartie couldn't keep his fuckin hands off anyone and maybe had the most pass interference calls I have ever seen in one game. Kyle Wilson gets a little slack for being a rookie in his first game but if he plays like that against the PATS next week, well see yah Kyle.

Now moving on to the biggest embarrassment on planet earth, the NY JET offense. Mark Sanchez needs to step the fuck up, seriously I am fed up with this shit. "Oh he's young", "give him time", "he was only a rookie last year and look what he did", no fuck that. I am off that bandwagon, my confidence level in him during that last drive was maybe a 2 on a sale of 100. I mean I have never seen a QB who has an arm like he does play like he has the arm like Chad Pennington.

Next is Shonn Greene. Seriously, I didn't even want to wast my 2 minutes tying this about him because it was an absolute joke to watch him. First off hold on to the fucking football Shonn, if he starts coughing up the ball like he has been all through preseason and now during Week 1 , he will break the record for fumbles in a season. Then to add to that he carries the ball 5 times for 18 yards. What the F is that. I don't give a shit if the Ravens have a good defense, you want people to talk like your gonna be a future state then act like one.

And now onto the receivers, actually just forget it. Take a look at the box score of what our receivers did, they might as well not even put up any stats. What a joke at the end that Keller can't make a play to get that first down.

Two biggest joke stat's were going 1 for 11 on 3rd downs while the Ravens went 11 for 19 and time of possesion which the Ravens had for 38 minutes and the JETS had for 21 minutes.

Defense and Special Teams played their asses off and the O slacked big time. Just killed a chance to start the year off right. All I know is next week is a must win and it's only Week 2, you go down next weekend and head to Miami in Week 3, you could be staring an 0-3 start right dead in the face.

Now let's go get some goddamn breakfast.

Shoulda Hung Em Up

Nothing could be better in life right now then having the NFL back, except, watching Brett Favre fall on his face and prove that the league may finally be catching up to him.

Now I will be the first to admit that when Favre was traded to the JETS a couple of years ago, I walked around for a week like I popped a case full of Viagra. But that doesn't mean I was a Brett Favre fan nor was I, it was just that the JETS hadn't made a big splash in getting a big name player since Curtis Martin (who at the time, was not the player he became after being a JET). Unnecessary to bring up how that season ended because after looking back over the course of Favre's career, most seasons ended in a shamble and then followed by him debating whether to retire or not.

Well Brett after watching last night's game, I think the time came this past offseason where you should have put the cleats in the garage and broke out a Bud because it was a pitiful performance to watch. Outside of the two passes he threw to Shancoe to end the 2nd quarter, Brett looked as if he was a deer in headlights. Threw a signature Brett Favre pick to Vilma along with what felt like a million more but just so happened they were caught out of bounds. He couldn't move for shit which forced the Vikings to line up in some terrible looking formations limiting the way they could move the ball.

All I know is after watching last night, this guy is done. No more of this heroic shit from him. Now I am not saying he is going to be JaMarcus Russell this season but don't expect Brett to have a miracle run and bring this team to where they were last year. It was his time to say goodbye last year and now we are going to have to watch a full year of him throwing ridiculous picks and getting pummeled each and every week.

So until next time, enjoy opening week and say a prayer for the Ravens come Monday night because like I said after watching the JETS defense splatter half of Eli's face across the Meadowlands, they actually might murder someone on the field this year. Stallworth watch out, Karma's a bitch.

Money Mayweather

First thing you have to do is read this masterpiece of verbiage that Floyd Mayweather said in a video regarding Manny Pacquiao:

" 'Poochiao' got three losses and two draws and been knocked out twice," Mayweather said. "So, like I said before, once I beat him it's going to be a cakewalk and it's on to the next. ... We know Pacquiao made $6 million in his last fight and Floyd Mayweather made $65 million in his last fight. Three losses, two draws. Ohhh, hell no, this is America baby. We built on winning. Step your game up, f----t. ... That mother f----- Pacquiao, he can't speak no English. He never seen a contract he didn't like. Mother f----- signed with two companies [Top Rank and Golden Boy]. Look it up. And then this mother f------ with Nike only got 70 Gs. How stupid can a mother f----- be? Reebok gave me a million dollars for three weeks. I wore Reebok s--- for a week for a million dollars. ... This mother f------'s name is Emmanuel. He got a fake name, taking power pellets."

The last three lines may be the single most hilarious comments I have ever read. Everything about this rant is hilarious. Mayweather just knows how to sell himself. Yea he used some racist words which certain media outlets and people are going to take offense too but I love it. He is a business man and when you let your number one challenger know you made 59 fucking million dollars more than him the last time you both fought ends it right there. But no shot that happens with Money Mayweather, what does he do...drops the endorsement bomb. Manny you think your cool cause NIKE gave you 70 g's, well guess what I make a million in a week when I throw on a free pair of Reebok zigs and take a run around the block.

No joke, Mayweather is my favorite athlete on planet earth just because he does not give a shit about anything or anyone. Just makes it rain all over the place and gets paid a ridiculous amount of money. And most of all isn't on the power pellets like Pacquiao.

Someone get Don King on the phone and set this fight up, this would be the most epic fight since The Thrilla in Manilla.

Locks of Love

So when you think of some of the most ridiculous things that athletes do with their money or have had done for them over the year's things such as Mike Tyson spending $300k a year to feed his pigeons comes into mind along with Phil Mickelson having his gambling debts paid off by Callaway to switch to their clubs. Well this one might top the cake.

Today Head and Shoulders the shampoo brand who sponsors Steelers Safety Troy Polamalu isnured his three feet of hair with Lloyd's of London for $1 million dollars. The report did not state what must be done to Polamalu's hair in order to collect on the policy.

Now most of you might think this is the stupidest fucking thing you have ever heard but to me it is absolutely fuckin genius. Why you ask? Because who the fuck uses Head and Shoulders these days other then grown ass men who have hair down to their assholes and have god knows that growing inside that shit. Polamalu is the perfect (and only) athlete that would even need to use Head and Shoulder's who they can't afford to lose out on the only athlete in the world that they could possibly even try to have an endorsement deal with.

I mean I wish Larry Johnson would have ripped that rat tail off his head a few years ago when he tackled him from behind by his hair but that didn't happen. I would love to see the bets going on in NFL locker rooms tonight talking about who will be the first to rip a huge chunk out his hair this year and cause Head and Shoulders to go belly up when they have no one in the world to use their product.

Breaking News: Strasburg to have Tommy John Surgery

The Washington Nationals reported that rookie phenom Stephen Starsburg will most likely undergo Tommy John surgery after he gets a second opinion to confirm the dreaded news. He will miss all of next season and hope to return by 2012.

Now even though Strasburg was about to start dominating the shit out of the METS for the next five years before he signs with the YANKEES as a free agent I was absolutely fucking pumped to see this guy get out there and pump a 101 mph fastball and drop a 90 mph curveball. I mean this kid lit the league up in his first 3 months as a big leaguer and still will have that shot. But this is a crushing blow to a franchise who for a really long time were irrelevant but were on the rise with the two biggest selections in recent years in Strasburg and this year's number one pick Bryce Harper.

I thought shit this bad only happens to METS fans like myself, I guess when you are formerly the Montreal Expos the curse of you being a shitty franchise will follow you no matter where you move.

Fantasy Football Friday: Defensive Teams

As I sit here watching highlights from some of last night's preseason games it makes me 100 million times more eager to watch real NFL games because preseason games are fucking miserable. I mean there is absolutely nothing fun about these games. Even when the first teams are in the game they suck. Let's hope that yesterday when the owner's met they highly considered bumping two preseason games and adding them to the regular season schedule. Just imagine the Super Bowl being played the Sunday before President's Day knowing you wouldn't have to wake up hungover as shit and go to work or school. I may even start a Facebook group to petition the Super Bowl to become a national holiday.

Having said that we move on to the final edition of Fantasy Football Friday. We are putting the defense under the microscope.

1.) NY JETS: Yea they are numero uno and how can you not say they aren't. They were the number one defense in the league last year and have brought in Antonio Cromartie, Brodney Pool, Jason Taylor, drafted Kyle Wilson and get Kris Jenkins back after being out all of last season. Obviously the whole Revis contract situation is still hanging over their heads but with two weeks still left before Opening Night they will find a way to lock him up. Either way the defense is going to be scary or ridiculously scary.

2.) BALTIMORE RAVENS: Ray Lewis, Ed Reed, Terrell Suggs, I think enough was said right there. This team year in and year out is one of the best in the league. They have added some good depth and rookie LB Sergio Kindle will be learning from one of the best LB's ever to walk planet earth. And with a more potent offense the pressure won't be as high like in year's past.

3.) GREEN BAY PACKERS: Defensive Player of the Year Charles Woodson leads this star studded up and coming group. of A.J. Hawk, Clay Matthews, Al Harris and Nick Barnett. With one of the NFL's prolific offenses this defense will hold its own and may even be a team that could make a Super Bowl run this year.

4.) PHILADELPHIA EAGLES: No really stud names on this defense outside of Asante Samuels, who is overrated anyway. But consistent play and a team that puts a lot of pressure on the QB will mean a lot of sacks and turnovers.

5.) DALLAS COWBOYS: They have one of the best defensive players on their team in DeMarcus Ware and NT Jay Ratliff just eating up QB's. Wary of the DB's but with two dominate players on the front line and a solid core of linebackers this Cowboy D will put pressure on any team which makes up for the shaky backfield.

Honorable Mentions: San Francisco 49ers, Minnesota Vikings, Pittsburg Steelers

So there you go, my choice for the top 5 fantasy defenses for this upcoming season. So with drafts starting this week be sure to take my advice into consideration if you play on winning any of the money that is up for grabs in your respective leagues.

Enjoy the weekend and start getting ready as we get days away from the most anticipated NFL season that I can ever remember.

Fantasy Football Friday: Tight Ends/Kickers

AHHHH GOOD EVENING EVERYBODY....

Fantasy Football is right around the corner. Drafts are starting in two weeks and I haven't been so pumped for a season like I am for this one. Might have something to do with the how the METS are a train wreck and the KNICKS failed in getting King Deush to come to NYC so I rest my entire sports lively hood on the JETS and Fantasy.

Today we are going to look at both Tight Ends and Kickers...so let's get down to the nitty gritty.

Tight Ends:

1.) Dallas Clark: The man has become Peyton's number one target surpassing Reggie Wayne and I expect Dallas to continue to play the TE position like he is a number one receiver. Going with 1,100 yards and 13 TD's. Yep I said 13.

2.) Antonio Gates: Fresh off a new contract, Big Daddy Gates is primed. They have a rookie running back and Vincent Jackson is still holding out. With a pure passing team Gates is going to have a MONSTER season.

3.) Jason Witten: The Cowboys have major weapons on offense and something tells me the Boys' are going to have a really good season with a weaker overall NFC East. The Romo-Witten connection will be riding high.

4.) Vernon Davis: Was going to put him higher on the list considering he had an absolutely beast of a year last season but am not sold on any of the 49er QB's so am wary to think he is going to repeat last season. But I could be way off.

5.) Jermichael Finley: Aaron Rodgers is a premiere passer in this league and is in love with Finley. With Driver getting older and Jennings dealing with the #1 corners that leaves Rodgers searching for a big offensive weapon and this is going to be a breakout season for Finley.

Honorable Mention: Tony Gonzalez, Brent Celek, Owen Daniels

Kickers:

1.) Stephen Gostkowski 2.) Nate Kaeding 3.) David Akers 4.) Mason Crosby 5.) Ryan Longwell

Honorable Mention: Garrett Hartley, Rob Bironas

There you have it. Soak it up because next week we look at Defense and then you are on your own. Adios bitches.

Drinkin' that Tebow Juice

To me Tim Tebow was just your typical stud college QB like many others that we have seen come through the college game over the years such as Cade McKnown, Tim Couch, Troy Smith, Brady Quinn, Ken Dorsey, Rex Grossman, etc. but who you knew were never going to cut it at the next level.

Well after seeing Tebow let the team shave his head to portray his new nickname of the "Mile High Messiah" and have a pretty decent debut during his first preseason game where his arm looked quite strong along with doing what he did best in college and that was use his legs and strength to muscle his way in for a TD. The decision to take him may turn out to be the best move of this past years draft that Josh McDaniels and Bronco ownership might have ever made.

Tebow is an icon already and that is only by way of his college career. I was walking through the Orlando airport last week and Tebow Bronco jerseys and shirts were everywhere. The Broncos are reshaping their image one step at a time. They dealt star studded but problematic wide-out Brandon Marshall to the Miami Dolphins this offseason and are beginning to head in a new direction with their prized first piece Tim Tebow. Tebow has this aura about him that is pure and natural. You don't see that too much these days, an athlete who actually talks the talk and walks the walk. Derek Jeter is the only athlete in my mind who really has taken that purity and leadership role and captivated a whole nation to believe that this is who he is, not like what many pro athletes are these days.

The point is that with all these athletes thinking they can get away with doing whatever they want whenever they want it is somewhat of a breath of fresh air to see a kid who was one of the best college players to ever play the game at that level be so humble and continue to work at his game and respect the game like he is still in high school, just playing for the love of it. We can look back over the past few years at the enormous list of NFL players who have been in trouble with the law or who have done some sort of idiotic thing and that gives the rest of the league a bad rap.

So I am rooting for Tebow to prove all the critics wrong that say he can't make it in the NFL as a Quarterback and take off and run with that fact that he is one of the good guys who truly practices what he preaches. I am sick and tired of hearing about these star athletes each and every week being arrested for a variety of reasons and then us fans forgiving so quickly for performing on the field. I am going to start to really root for guys who act and play the game like Tim Tebow does whether he succeeds or doesn't, but my money is on that he does.

Fantasy Football Friday: Wide Receivers

Football is back babyyyy!!! First week of preseason games, Hardknocks premiere and Fantasy Football drafts are about to begin over the next two weeks.

So let's dive right into this week's topic; the top fantasy wideouts heading into the 2010 NFL season:

1.) Andre Johnson: lit up the league last year and will continue to do so. Johnson and QB Matt Schaub are in sync and continue to get better. I think Johnson will lead the league in both receiving yards and TD's.

2.) Larry Fitzgerald: everyone knows that Fitz is a beast out on the gridiron but there is one major change that may play a detrimental role in his numbers this season; no Kurt Warner. With college stud Matt Leinart taking over the throne at QB it will almost be near impossible for Fitz to be expected to do what he did with Warner but without Anquan Boldin on the other side that just means more opportunities to make up for the loss of Warner.

3.) Randy Moss: Moss is obviously getting older and may not be the player he was a few years back but he still is the best receiver since Jerry Rice retired from the league and is in the last year of his contract. With Brady fully back from knee surgery that effected him somewhat last year and Wes Welker out with his own knee injury we may just see glimpses of the record setting year Brady and Moss had together back in 2007.

4.) Calvin Johnson: I know he plays on one of the NFL's worst teams but CJ has continued to get better each year. Sophomore QB Matthew Stafford is a gunslinger with a big arm and Calvin is his main target. They added a few offensive weapons this offseason through free agency and the draft which will take some pressure off of Johnson and allow him to produce at an even higher level.

5.) Reggie Wayne: Veteran All-Pro playing alongside a very young receiving core on top of having the games best QB throwing him the ball makes Reggie Wayne a no brainer. I expect him to bounce back from an underachieving season last year for him and make a big splash. This also coincides with me thinking that Peyton may break the record for most passing yards in a season this year.

Honorable Mentions: Brandon Marshall, Miles Austin, Vincent Jackson

Next week tune in for a double dose of Tight Ends/Kickers because those are the two most valuable spots to add talent when trying to give your team a real edge over the rest of the field.

So enjoy one of the final few weekends of summer and make sure to start looking for your big time sleepers as preseason games continue on.

P.S. On a side note the JETS are going to make a statement on Monday night against the G-Men cementing there place in the New Meadowlands, Rex Ryan statue is already in the works to be put outside.

Life as a Shitty New York Fan

Back from vacation which was great and am trying to enjoy the next three weeks before law school starts but for some reason the teams that I love and waste so much time and money on love to fuck with me and treat me like I am some piece of shit..yea that sums up exactly how the KNICKS, METS and JETS treat me like I am literally a piece of shit (Rangers are out of this post, to early for me to even care about hockey).

The Knicks actually create a little buzz this summer and then go and re-hire the Satan of basketball Isaiah Thomas and just set themselves back another decade. I mean some kid who is in middle school right now probably possesses the sperm that will hopefully bring this team back to the glory days of the 90's because there is no doubt in my mind no one on planet earth right now will be able to do so.

Then the Mets who don't deserve more then this and that is until the Wilpon's sell this team they will never ever be the type of team who wants to win like some other team in New York is willing to do.

And now onto the JETS and this little statement that Rex Ryan spits out today about Revis..."we are preparing as if he will not be with us this season". Hold your fuckin horses Rex. You say he is the best defensive player in the league, the best corner you may have ever seen and you, Mr. T and Woody tell him you are gonna "pay the man" and then you say this crock of shit. This is Day 9 of the holdout and with Hardknocks starting tomorrow that means by episode 3 Revis and his whole f'n island better be locked up for the next 8 years.

Anyway it's good to be back and even better that the NFL season is just about a month away.

(no picture today because for some reason I can't upload it)

Fantasy Football Friday: Running Backs

So today will be the last time that I ever write this blog from a 5 foot by 5 foot cubicle due to the fact that it is my last day at my current job. I will be taking the next few weeks off before I officially start my first year of law school, which politely said is going to be a mothefucker.

So training camp is officially underway and I have been getting thousands of emails praising me for my intellect in terms of ranking fantasy players. So that is what I will continue to do and honor my fans with the best analysis on the planet. This week we are going to delve into running backs.

Chris Johnson: Realistically if you are in any fantasy league and he isn’t the #1 overall pick then you should all serious think about kicking that person out before the season starts. CJ is not only the most dominate runner but is the best receiving RB in the league. One of a kind player right here.

Adrian Peterson: Even with a top passing game led by Brett Favre last season AP rushed for over 1,300 yards and scored 18 times. AP is a TD machine year in and year out and on top of that has squashed the injury bug that bit him earlier in his career having played 15 of 16 games the last 2 seasons.

Maurice Jones-Drew: Last year was his first full season carrying the total running game for Jacksonville and boy did he take off with that. Rushed for 1,300 plus and found the end zone 15 times. Also had 53 receptions so is a threat coming out of the backfield as another target for David Gerhard.

Ray Rice: Breakthrough year for the little (jacked) guy from Rutgers. Emerging as the starter over oft injured Willis McGahee, Rice put up close to 1,400 yards rushing with his only downfall being that he only hit the goal line 7 times. I expect that to increase to around 12 this season. Also is a big time threat for Joe Flacco coming out of the backfield.

Frank Gore: Last second entry over my original pick of Stephen Jackson due to the fact that I think Gore is going to have a huge year in the weakest division in the NFL. His TD numbers increased almost double last year and he rushed for over 1,100 yards in only 14 games. So I expect close to 1,300 yards and 10 TD’s out of him this year.

Honorable Mentions: Steven Jackson, Michael Turner, Rashard Mendenhall, DeAngelo Williams and Jonathon Stewart

So there you have it my top five fantasy RB’s heading into this year’s drafts. Black Cawfee will be taking a week off do to my leaving for vacation. So start doing your own research as fantasy drafts are quickly approaching. Christmas in August is just around the corner.

T.O. to Gang Green?

Reports are out this morning that the NY JETS have contacted Terrell Owens agent Drew Rosenhaus regarding the possibility of the Jets looking to bring T.O. into training camp.

Now let me reiterate what I said a few weeks back about how the JETS need to slow their fuckin role down. It started with Tomlinson getting the JETS logo tattooed on his leg, then Rex Ryan coming out that he is going to write a book even though he has really done shit to this date and the ridiculous reports that the Jets contacted Jamarcus "Purple Drank" Russell about the possibility of resurrecting his career as a backup. Now the T.O. story hits the headlines and I am about to lose my shit.

Fuckin Terrell Owens sucks. He is a 36 year old washed up veteran being bounced around this league like the fat chick at the strip club because guess what, no one wants to touch this thing. My biggest issue is other than the fact that he is a complete douchebag and his TV show sucks compared to my man Ochocinco on the Ultimate Catch is who the hell are the Jets even possibly thinking of sitting down if they bring T.O. onto this team. I mean come week 4 when Santonio Holmes returns from suspension you will already have a top five receiving unit in the league with him, Edwards and Cotchery, all who are better then T.O. in my opinion at this stage of his career.

But since I am an intellectual and can see through the Jets "we want to bring anyone in we feel makes our team better" mantra is the fact that it all comes down to them wanting to become this larger than life spectacle when it comes to this seasons HARDKNOCKS. And what bigger clown can you add to this team that other then T.O.

Having said all that, I swear I will sit through every Harry Potter/ Twighlight movie and wear a freakin Hannah Montana shirt if the JETS promise me that they are just fuckin with me and that they really aren't planning to bring T.O. in.

Fantasy Football Friday: Quarterbacks

So here we are, NFL training camp is officially upon us next week. A new NFL season is like a mixture of losing your virginity, Christmas, Easter Egg Hunts and Fourth of July fireworks all rolled up in one. I love how my entire week is scheduled around managing my fantasy football team and sitting on my ass all day long on Sunday just loving every minute of the best sport on the planet.

This week I am going to give you a rundown of my top 5 fantasy quarterbacks heading into this season, so let’s get down to business:

1.)Peyton Manning: Hands down my go to pick when I have a late first round pick and don’t feel confident in the RB’s left on the board. Manning doesn’t let you down period. He will at minimum toss you over 200 yards passing and a TD, and that is usually his worst week of the year. I think he has got to have a bitter taste in his mouth coming off that Super Bowl loss. So I go with Peyton as the number one QB off the board this year.
2.)Drew Brees: Guy came out of the oblivion after being casted out in San Diego four years ago. Ever since arriving in the Big Easy Brees has been straight bossin on the football field. With a pretty decent group of weapons look for another 4,300 yards and 30 plus TD’s from the defending Super Bowl MVP.
3.)Aaron Rodgers: Ever since taking over for Favre in Green Bay Rodgers has been torching opposing defenses. He is coming into his own and I think this being his third full season under center will allow him to continue to advance his stats. With his cannon arm expect big things out of Cheesehead land this season and grab Rodgers if you have the shot.
4.)Matt Schaub: Houston put up its first ever winning season last year and barely missed the playoffs. Schaub and Andre Johnson became maybe the leagues most prominent QB/WR combo in the league and Schaub showed what he can do when he stays healthy for a whole season and that’s the risk here, always finds a way to miss a few weeks. So you gotta think to yourself is the juice worth the squeeze. My vote is YES.
5.)Tom Brady: Really was tempted to throw Tony Romo is here but I have to give it to Mr. Football here. Brady is a winner and is gotta be furious that the Pats got embarrassed in the playoffs last year. I think with a healthy Welker returning and Moss entering the final year of his contract Brady will put up some more normal Brady numbers then he has over the past 2 seasons.

Honorable mentions: Tony Romo, Phillip Rivers, Eli Manning (fuck me for saying it but I think he is going to have a good year)

Now as I kick myself for not charging for this priceless bit of information all you stiffs out there have a good weekend.

C'mon Already

I had the pleasure of attending the live taping of Joe Buck Live a few months back and Floyd Mayweather was a guest on the show. Now I have to say I usually am not star struck but he had this attitude and swagger about him and I could distinctively remember saying to myself "this guy is the fuckin' man"". Now we fast forward to today's date and I think that "this guy's a fuckin puss". For months now we have been waiting to see if Pacquiao-Mayweather is truly going to come to fruition. Over the past weekend rumors were Pacquiao had agreed to the blood testing that Floyd so eagerly wanted and that a deadline of Saturday at midnight was declared to see if they can get this fight set up at some point this year. Well that deadline came and went and no agreement was set in place and now Pacquiao will fight either Maragarito or Cotto at some point.

Now this is my problem here with boxing and why the sport is pretty much irrelevant compared to what the UFC has become. Here you have the two best fighters on the planet who would each make upward of $25 million for this fight alone and no deal has been set in place yet. Are you kidding me with this Pacquiao-Cotto or Maragaria shit, I can give a shit. You think I gave a shit about Mayweather-Mosley, yea maybe like 10 years ago when Mosley moved faster then my Dad does. This is exactly why boxing is a dieing sport because the big guns that can revive this sport refuse to hash out a deal.

Do you think that George St. Peirre or Anderson Silva would not agree to fight someone or hold out on an agreement this long, hell no. Rampage Jackson got shit for backing out of the Rashad Evans fight due to a "scheduling conflict" and the minute rumors started swirling around about how he might be scared Rampage jumped back on board to make sure the fight eventually took place. Well until Floyd jumps on this boat and agrees to fight Pacquiao you cannot say that he is one of the best fighters ever just because he hasn't lost yet. When you are at the top of your game and another challenger who may dethrone you steps to the plate you have no choice but to fight.

So let's hope for Mayweather's legacy's sake and my own personal want for this fight that it happens because it will be one sick night of boxing and that is something that hasn't happen in a really really long time.

Fantasy Football Friday

So since my weekly Friday Wrap-Up idea got the rug pulled out from under it, I’ve decided to roll out a new concept for Friday’s known as “Fantasy Football Friday”. Each and every Friday between now and the end of the summer when Fantasy Football drafts begin I will break down each and every position on a weekly basis. Now since I am a fantasy guru and have placed in the top 2 of my fantasy league over the past four years I would take my advice very seriously and use these hidden gems when it is your turn in your draft.

The schedule over the course of the next few weeks will be broken down accordingly: QB’s. RB’s. WR’s. TE’s, Defense, Defensive Players, Rookies, Bench Players, Sleepers and Kickers. Now I must take into consideration that all league’s are scored differently so I want it to be known now that I am just going to go based on overall talent and who I perceive to be the most valuable when it comes to the majority of leagues.

Today I would like to do a quick breakdown of my top 10 players that are available purely based off of what I believe actually I take that last statement back, these are Grade A quality facts that will 1.) make you look like you know what the fuck you are doing and 2.) will most likely put money in your pocket when you win your league.

So here we go the list of my Top 10 Overall Players available:
1.) Chris Johnson: after a phenomenal rookie season he burst out on to the season with an amazing ground game and a tremendous ability to catch the ball out of the back field. He is a consistent scorer who will put points on the board for you each and every week.
2.) Adrian Peterson: Held the ranks as the number one pick the last two seasons but has been dethroned in my opinion. AP still most likely is the best RB in the game but his receiving ability is not even in the same range as CJ and that is what separates them. Still a solid like for 1200 yards on the ground and 15 TD’s.
3.) Maurince Jones-Drew: What a huge year for MJD last year. 1300+ yards Rushing and 15 TD’s. I fully expect him to continue to shoulder the load and become a red zone machine this year.
4.) Ray Rice: Breakout year for Ray. Has shown he can handle the pressure of being a featured back and outside of CJ is the most prominent threat in the league coming out of the backfield. Gave the edge to MJD but I might even consider him at #3.
5.) Frank Gore: Pound the ball is Frank Gore’s model and I see him increasing both his total yards and TD’s this coming season. Is showing star capability and could put this 49er team on his back due to the lack at the QB position.
6.) Andre Johnson: 1500+ receiving yards and 10 TD’s in my mind earns him the respect as a top overall player. I expect those TD’s to increase even more as Matt Schaub continues to become a player in this league and a potential playoff berth may be on the horizon for the Texan’s.
7.) Drew Brees: Guy is flat out playing his ass off like he has some sort of chip on his shoulder. I prefer Peyton Manning personally but the numbers haven’t lied the last couple of years and Brees has better weapons overall then Manning has. Look for another big year on Bourbon Street.
8.) Peyton Manning: Like I said above I prefer Manning due to his consistency and his ability play each and every week. Solid pick no matter what.
9.) Larry Fitzgerald: No more Boldin means more opportunities for Fitz to get the ball and put up more points. Only downfall with this is Kurt Warner is gone and newly appointed QB Matt Leinart is in, won’t work out if they don’t have the chemistry
10.) Michael Turner: Not so much a great year like he had in 2008 but we will chalk it up to the fact that an ankle injury limited him to only appear in 11 games. I think he will bounce back big time and a team who in my opinion underachieved last year will have something to prove. Expect 1200+ rushing yards and 10 TD’s.

So that is this week’s breakdown. Take it or leave it but my personally opinion is I know more than you so I think it is in your best interest to take note of what I said.

Until next week..

...AND YOU TOTALLY REDEEM YOURSELF!!!

First off having Entourage back in my life is the best way to end a weekend in the summer. This show never disappoints and always leaves you wanting more. The fact that that law school is starting to creep up watching Ari makes me dream of the possibility that one day I will run my own agency and pretty much dominate the shit out of the sports world and get players contracts that their kids kids kids will be able to live off of. But I’ll hold off on my vision for taking over the sports world in some capacity at another time, what we are here to talk about today is Chris Paul and how he is my new favorite athlete.

So last night Caremelo Anthony tied the knot with Lala Vazquez in NYC (you know the MTV VJ) and that was the biggest mistake of his life but I am not here on divulging advice to professional athletes just yet. But what this wedding spurred out was during CP3’s speech he had made mention that there may be a new “Big 3” about to form in the Big Apple. Chris said that Melo, himself and Amare Stoudemire (who was in attendance) may form the second big three over the next couple of years when Paul and Melo become free agents and join Amare with the Knicks and create the biggest rivalry the NBA has ever seen.

Chris Paul is GOD. When I thought nothing could get worse for the Knicks then giving Amare a max deal when there is no shot in hell he is worth that without a star studded PG dishing him the ball CP3 makes the greatest statement of all time. Pretty much is telling the LBJ, Wade and Bosh tandem that you think that you guys are gonna control this league for the next 10 years you can “forgheddaboudit” where gonna take 3 of the best players in the league too and add the “Italian Stallion” Danillo Gallinari and just start fucking up all three of your worlds.

All I know is that Donnie F’n Walsh better 1.) stay alive for the next 2 years 2.) stay under the cap so we can bounce back from this offseason debacle and just maybe put together a threesome that would be just as pretty as Marissa Miller, Adriana Lima and E’s secretary on Entourage/Turtles limo driver that he fired and Henry, Tommy and Jimmy from Goodfellas. So keep the hope alive Knicks fans there just might be something brewing here and if you gave me a tandem of CP3, MELO AND AMARE call me crazy I might take them over the The Queen and his peasants down in Miami.

GOD BLESS AMERICA!!!!

LeBronolution

If you don’t know that tonight at 9:00pm is ESPN’s special one hour show entitled “The Decision” where LeBron James is going to announce what team he plans on signing with then you should probably kill yourself. I have had a pit in my stomach like someone kicked me in the nuts for the past 2 days waiting for this announcement to happen.

As a recap of my experience the last few days it has been a lot of refreshing on the internet at work waiting for a new story to come out by any media outlet, following different people on Twitter and watching Chris Broussard make up ridiculous shit like people are running to tell him the inside scoop. But what I really want to get down to today is the fact that reports are indicating that LeBron is leaning toward signing with the Miami Heat and will join D Wade and C Bosh down in South Beach. Let’s get something straight if that scenario is to play out LeBron James just guaranteed himself one thing and that is that he will never be allowed to compare himself to Jordan or Kobe ever.

Now there are a lot of great players who have stuck with their teams to win titles or try to win titles i.e. Hakeem Olajuwon, Paul Pierce, Karl Malone (gave it a run but never quite won it) but for the sake of this post let’s just stick with Kobe and Jordan. I will put my unborn children’s lives on the line that Kobe and Jordan would never even think twice about joining a team that has a player who is already the man on that team and that city and on has already won a title. If LeBron is to do the unthinkable and join this All Star squad in Miami he is doing himself an injustice. He is making it known that he himself doesn’t have what it takes to win a title and that is something that great players would never admit too. Kobe pushed out one of the best centers of all time if not one of the greatest players of all time and has continued on winning titles without Shaq. Jordan left the Bulls for one year, they didn’t do shit, he came back and won the whole thing.

So the point is that if LeBron really wants to make a mark he has two choices, stay in Cleveland or go to the Knicks. Any other choice will never allow him to fully reach the legacy that he could leave when he is long gone. But if I see him throw on a Miami Heat hat at tonight’s press conference then the NBA will be dead to me. I have decided that tonight’s decision will affect my entire life. IF LEBRON IS A MIAMI HEAT THEN I OFFICIALLY QUIT THE NBA. What type of fun would this league be? All the rings they may win together in my mind don’t really count as much as what some other superstar players have done to win a title.

So LeBron choose wisely my friend because your entire life’s work will be on the line with the choice that you make tonight.

P.S. If he throws on a Knicks hat I may piss my pants, shit my pants and cry all at the same time, no joke.

Life Support

So last night the NY Knicks officially began the rebuilding process by signing Amar'e Stoudemire to a 5 year/$100 million deal. Now although Amar’e is far and away better than any player the Knicks have had over the last ten years he is not the type of player that can carry your team to a Finals let alone most likely not even the playoffs without a legit star player alongside him.

Put it this way, if by the end of the week LeBron and Wade signed elsewhere and Melo agrees to an extension with the Nuggets the KNICKS have officially set themselves back another decade and I will be forced to abandon ship.

Now some of you might think who abandon’s ship of their favorite team especially one that you have been following your whole life. Well it’s simple when that team for more than half of your life has sucked more than any franchise in all of sports and then when the time comes where they may rise from the abyss they completely tank their opportunity and set you back again another ten. That is when it’s ok to throw in the towel and sign the divorce papers.

Because there is no shot in hell I can continue to have no rooting interest in a major sport, it just isn’t fun. I never understood how people don’t have favorite teams. You might as well not even watch sports. So let it be known today that if all does not workout with another major star player to go tag team with Amar’e I will be placing an order on the OKC Thunder website for my home/away Kevin Durant jersey because they will be my knew favorite team.
So step up to the plate Mr. Dolan, Donnie Walsh and Coach D’Antoni and make sure that you can back that ridiculous contract that you gave Amar’e up with a player that will at least be able to carry the KNICKS to the rightful place they belong. At the top.

And like I have said before to quote Michael Corleone “It’s not personally Amar’e, it’s just business”.

I hope Tiger Hooks Up with Beyonce

So right now as I write this soon to be masterpiece blog post the Knicks are sitting somewhere outside of Akron, Ohio pitching to Lebron James why he NEEDS to become a New York Knickerbocker. Now combining LeBron James with NYC is like pairing me with Marissa Miller just two perfect specimens that God himself couldn't make better. It has been what feels like my entire life waiting for this day to arrive and this Knick plan better come thru because in my mind it is Lebron or bust no matter who they get.

Now before the Knicks stepped into the room today Mikhail Prokhorov, the NETS new billionaire owener and Jay-Z held the first meeting with King James. Now let's just make this clear going forward I refuse to ever buy a Jay-Z song on ITunes (not like I do anyway but let's pretend I still pay for music) or ever go to a Jay-Z concert in my life (which I still haven't) if LeBron signs with the freakin NJ Nets. Now I don't blame Prokhorov for being a cocky asshole cause 1.) he's Russian 2.) he's a billionaire but Jay-Z hit a nerve with me this morning. He raps about how great New York is and sits front row at Knicks game but for some reason since he owns .00001% of the NETS he feels like he has some entitlement. Well message for you Jay-Z stop using New York as a background for you to make millions of dollars and see how rapping about a New Jersey State of Mind goes for you.

But there is a way for Jay-Z to redeem himself and that is to do whatever you can to sell his minute ownership stake in the NETS to anyone on the street and get on board with Jimmy Dolan and the Knicks and revive the Mecca of Basketball. I beg you to not allow Prokhorov to entice LeBron with the billions he has and the strippers he chills with all day to think that the NETS will ever be to this city what the Knicks are. So do what is right Jigga Man and maybe I'll pony up the $500 on stubhub for the Yankee Stadium concert with Eminem.

Anyway I sit here in a pool of sweat just thinking about what the hell is going on in that meeting. Child hood memories of LJ's 4 point play, Houston's runner and John Stark's throwing down on MJ have just been replaying in my head over and over and I need the Knicks to be sick again. So keep the hopes up and pray to god someway somehow the Knicks land the King and basketball will once again be King of New York.

P.S. For those of you who haven't seen this yet below is the billboard that Prokhorow and Jay-Z had painted outside Madison Square Garden. Actually pretty dope and you know they brought a picture of that with LeBron next to them to their meeting this morning...shit.

HARDKNOCKS WILL WIN AN EMMY

Now when the NY Jets signed on to be the team that is featured this year on HBO'S Hardknocks I was pretty pumped. Purely for the fact that for my entire life the Jets logo never appeared on ESPN and now all of a sudden after last seasons run and a few additions they have become the talk of the league.

But I have to say that things are getting a little ridiculous in Jersey these days. First off Rex Ryan has now signed a book deal that will be a memoir of his life up to this point. Now I love Rex more than you can imagine, guy is the pure definition of what a head football coach should be but he is joking me right. He is about to jinx this whole operation they got going on and you want to know how, because only coaches who win SUPER BOWLS write fuckin books Rex (i.e. Sean Payton, Tony Dungy, John Gruden). So leave your David Patterson skills for after you win it and then it'll actaully be worth reading.

Next is LT showing his mug on ESPN with Sal Palantonio today talking about how he now has a JETS logo tattoo on his calf with 2010- underneath it, just like his CHARGERS logo he has that reads 2001-2010. He then goes into how this is a Super Bowl caliber team which it is but then the big grin on his face lights up when he is asked if he is gonna win out the starting job and that is where I say slow your role Ladanian. You are here for two reasons only to get your ass in the end zone or catch balls out of the back field and thats it. This is Shonn Greene's team now. He trucked us through the playoffs and is primed to have a phenomenal sophomore season. So sit back with your visor on, look all gangsta but do not think that your gonna start causing a rift because your a future hall of famer. Be happy the JETS allowed you on this all-star team and a shot at capping your career off with a ring.

And last but not least is the report that the JETS are looking into bringing in Jamarcus Russell as a possible back up QB candidate. I have no words for this because it has to be a joke. I would rather get Quincy Carter out of retirement before I would ever think to bring Jamarcus Russell on this team. But I see what they are trying to do though make Vernon Gholsten not feel so bad about himself by bringing in an even worse draft bust.

Anyway this is how I get when my team is suppose to be good. NY METS 2007 I talked more shit that year about them then any other year combined and what happens they blow an 8 1/2 game lead with 10 games to play and miss the playoffs followed by the same disaster the following year. So I refuse to let this happen to me with the JETS, I am going to be the most negative fan all the way to the end and then I will never ever shut the fuck up about how this team might be the greatest assembled team in the last 20 years.

So now let's pray to God Rex keeps designing defensive schemes to shut down a rejuvenated Tom Brady, Tomlinson learns his role and Jamarcus Russell gets my all you can eat buffet card that I sent over to his house and he keeps his weight above the 300lbs. mark so there is no shot of him signing with the JETS.

P.S. But if none of that happens you can bet your ass HARDKNOCKS will win the emmy for best reality TV show.

America, Fuck Yeah!!

I can honestly sit here and with joy say that I was so pumped to be watching a soccer game and not because Landon Donovan put in the game winning goal in the 91st minute but because I was able to get the fuck out of my cubicle and go sit in a nice leather conference room chair watching a flat screen tv drinking a freaking Red Bull, that is what all Wednesday mornings should be like.

Now in all seriousness that was a pretty sweet ending. I swear if we would have tied one more godforsaken game I would have seriously started a petition to ban soccer in America. We don't play for ties in America we either win or we win none of this draw crap. And to make it even worse if those sneaky little Brits would have advanced over us after beating Slovenia that would have put the icing on another terrible World Cup. Instead our all time leading scorer buries a rebound shot in the back of the net with seconds away from the game coming to a close and gives us only our second First Place Group finish since 1930.

Soccer will never be cool in the U.S., I don't care if we run a train and take down Argentina and Brazil it just won't ever be that great here. But for the time being I have to say I am pretty pumped to be advancing because like I said last week I bleed Red, White and Blue and this just shows that even when America is not the best at something we will evenutally catch up and when that happens the rest of the world might as well get out of the way.

So sit back and pray that we get to face those damn Germans because you can guarantee we will shithouse them on Saturday like we did in WWII.

Damn, it feel great to be an American.

World Cup Rant

Now I know nothing nor care to know anything about soccer. The only reason I am even paying any remote attention to the World Cup is because I literally bleed Red, White and Blue. First we tie England which was considered a victory for the U.S. which in my opinion is a bunch of shit. Do you think we would have settled for a tie in the Revolutionary War, hell no. I can't bare to even compare England to America. England sucks, it is pretty much like Seattle but people there have different accents and their food sucks. So by no means do I considere that a victory whatsoever, I would have rather lost expecially since the only f'n goal we scored was because their numbnuts goalie who has one job to do couldn't hold on to a ground ball kicked directly at him.

Anyway moving on to this mornings game. Now us sports analysts (which I like to call my self among other titles) could have pinpointed this game against Slovenia as a downright sleeper game for the U.S. We come off a nice little moral victory by not losing to England and we think we are a mortal lock to advance to the next round. Well guess what happend Slovenia came out and pretty much ran shit on us for the first half. 2-0 in a soccer game is like a 35-0 lead in the NFL comebacks never happen. Well guess what sine the U.S. dominates the shit out of everything and Slovenia might as well not even exist they allowed us to get back in this game and tie it up at the 82 minute mark (by the way pisses me off to watch a clock count upwards when watching a game, drives me insane).
Then Koman Coulibaly comes along and totally tries to single handedly take down America by calling...I have no f'n clue what he called and neither did all these soccer analysts,by taking away a free kick goal that was scored by the U.S. in the 86th minute. I'll tell you what and since I don't plegarize shit on Black Cawfee I saw this line on another blog and it said and I quote "If this wasn’t the USA this Koman dude would be dead already" and ain't that the truth. If he would have done that to the Spaniards or the Germans this guy would be face down in a ditch somewhere but since we think that ties in the World Cup are something to be proud of because we suck and shouldn't have a shot is why we are ok with another tie.

Shit pisses me off..all I know is that if the U.S. doesn't go out and mash Algeria I am flying to South Africa and am taking over the reigns of U.S. Men's Soccer because it's about time that America dominates the shit out of the #1 so called sport in the world (please if Europe had anything that sniffed the NFL soccer wouldn't even be played anymore).

So look for me on TV next week when the U.S. plays again because I will be all up in Altidore's grill if he doesn't start stepping his shit up.

P.S. On to a real sport, Mets are gonna steam roll through the Bronx this weekend.

Vince Young Making It Rain

So over the weekend Tennessee Titans QB Vince Young was cited for getting in a fight at a Dallas stripclub with one of the managers. Before I get into this story you have to watch the video..so click it below.


Now after having seen that I don't blame Vince Young for wanting to pop this Uncle Phil look alike in the mouth, I mean who does that guy think he is disrespecting VY by throwing him the "horns down" symbol. First off what kind of businessman is this. Guy runs a stripclub that Vince Young wants to spend his Sunday morning in dropping hundys all over the place just making it rain like he is Pacman Jones and this guy has the audacity to mock him. Business 101 buddy when a multimillionaire athlete walks into your joint you flower him with the greatest ammenitites known to man so he continues to spend dollar after dollar after dollar.

Second point is when you are a 5'9'' 300 lbs. out of shape manager I would say it isn't in your best interest to be starting wih a 6'6" 250lbs. NFL QB who will destroy you like Vince was about to do had he not been held back by the thousands of people that somehow managed to appear in that 6x3 foot room within seconds.

And last but not least is one of my biggest pet peaves of all and that is girls getting involved in brawls. Like this Lady Gaga look alike at the end of the fight who starts throwing a choke hold on my man in the striped shirt playing hand grab with the manager. Little lesson for this chick, when you see eight grown men all over the weight of 250 lbs. throwing fists you should take a page out of the brunette haired girls book and high tail it out of there for your own safety.

Now since the story broke Vince Young has publicly apologized and has pleaded that Commissioner Goodell cut him some slack on the suspension he undoubtedly will be handed down. I don't think VY deserves anything more than a slap on the wrist because let's be real here when your a superstar athlete who has won a National Championship and an NFL Rookie of the Year Award you can't let minions running strip clubs disrespect you like that or you gonna get that "horns down" symbol turned right side up your ass.

Ridonkulous Debut

There are absolutely no words to describe what Washington Nationals Rookie Stephen Strasburg did last night. Want to talk about living up to the hype; I can’t think of any player in any sport ever who’s ever dominated as much as he did last night in their debut. Not LeBron, not A-Rod, not Griffey, not Crosby, not Tiger, not Federer, not Peyton, not anyone that was hyped up this much put on a performance like the 21 year old righty did last night.

His line was ridiculous, 7 IP, 4 Hits, 2 Earned Runs, 14 K’s and 0 Walks. He was one strikeout away from tying the record for a MLB debut with Bob Feller who in 1936 struck out 15. It wasn’t even his fastball that impressed me the most which he consistently was pumping 97-98 mph on the gun and topping out at 101mph but it was his curveball that was so f’n ridiculous it was scary. Kid was painting corners with the hook which was making All Stars like Andrew McCutchen look like they belonged back in Single A ball.

Truth be told I am not surprised Strasburg dominated like he did. Yea 14 K’s is absurd but he has been dominating the Minors like he was playing in the Little League World Series the past two months. He already would be an ace on more than half of the teams in the Majors now and he is just starting out. It is going to be scary to see how good this kid is going to get. Stuff like this comes around once in a generation. He has Hall of Fame caliber stuff already and he is still learning how to get even better.

His next start will be Sunday against the Cleveland Indians on the road, it was reported today that an additional 1,000 tickets have been sold within the last 24 hours and it will sure be a sell out to watch him make his follow up start to his debut. Worst part about this is the fact that he is going to have a field day with the METS over the next 15 years if he remains a National for his entire career (c’mon we all know the Yanks are going to swoop in when he becomes a free agent and hand him some record breaking contract).

Anyway, this is the kind of thing that makes sports so awesome. When kids like this come along and leave you astonished at how amazing they really are. So sit back and enjoy the next ten years because Stephen Strasburg has arrived and is about to make baseball history.

The End of an Era

Let’s first start this briefly off with Jim Joyce and how he must feel like the biggest piece of shit on the face of the planet for having blown that last out of Armando Galarraga’s perfecto last night. Let’s just hope that MLB makes the right move here and awards him the perfect game even though it really doesn’t matter because the best part of the whole experience is the celebration and how Armando for the one and only time in his life would have felt like he actually was going to succeed in the majors, but kiss that goodbye cause you can bet your ass that within a few years the only Galarraga that baseball fans will even know is this guy the “Big Cat”...

Now for today’s real topic and that is Ken Griffey Jr. announcing his retirement from baseball. To be quite honest this makes me feel old as shit. I mean I have seen players that I grew up watching retire but never has a player that I felt I watched his entire career from beginning to end hang ‘em up in any sport. Junior was the absolute man, between the ages of 5 and 13 I wanted to be him more than anyone else in the world (then I hit puberty and I wanted to be like any guy who was hooking up with a chick). Guy just rocked the backwards hat, had the sweetest stroke in the history of baseball, starred in all time classic movies like Little Big League and had guest appearances on shows like The Fresh Prince of Bel Air.

Anyway having played his whole career through the Steroid Era Griffey managed to keep his name from being tarnished like all the other “supposed greats” that cheated their way to the numbers they put up. He is 5th all time in homers at 630, has won 11 gold gloves, was selected to 13 All Star games, won 3 home run derby’s, 11 silver slugger awards, was the 1997 MLB MVP and was selected to the Major League Baseball All Century Team. Now you can bet your entire savings that Junior will be a first ballot lock for the Hall of Fame.

But even though Junior put up the great numbers real fans of his will never forget certain moments of his career such as making one of the greatest catches ever running into the wall breaking his wrist, scoring on Edgar Martinez’ double against the Yankees in Game 5 of the 1995 ALDS in extra innings, putting on an absolute show at Camden Yards when he was putting balls off the buildings outside of the stadium during the home run derby and when him and his father hit back to back homers in a game during the 1990 season (a feat that will never happen again).

There really is nothing else that can define “The Kid” other than that he was completely fuckin awesome. He was hands down my child hood idol and even though he hasn’t been the same player for the past five years he still played the game the same way he did back when he was a 19 year old rookie. Junior retiring is like Robert DeNiro not starring in mafia movies anymore, shit is just not gonna be the same for a while.

So excuse me while I go squeeze into my #24 jersey, break out my baseball cards, my gold plated Ken Griffey Jr. coin, my All Star plaque, my street sign, my bobble head and stickers and create the greatest shrine ever in the history of shrines in the back of my closet for the legend Ken Griffey Jr.

National(s) Phenom

So today the Washington Nationals announced that pitcher Stephen Strasburg the #1 overall pick of last years draft and two time All-American at San Diego State will make his MLB debut on June 8 against the Pirates.

Now I pride myself on my ability to see talent at a very young age and Strasburg might be the greatest talent that I have ever seen entering professional sports since Peyton Manning. This kid has been ripping up the minor leagues this season. In 10 minor league starts he has posted a 6-2 record with a 1.43 era and 60 k's in 50 1/3 innings, including a 3-1 record in Triple A ball with a 1.27 era.

Baseball is hands down the sport where young up and coming talent doesn't get the recognition right off the bat that guys coming into the NFL, NBA or even the NHL get. I mean players that are highly regarded make immediate impacts in those leagues and that is not the case in baseball. Players drafted number one overall can sometimes spend 5 years in the minors before even sniffing the big leagues and when it is time for them to come up the average fan doesn't even remember who this guy is. Well let me tell you something, every sports fan should be locked in for when Strasburg makes his debut because you are going to be witnessing a guy who is a legit ace right off the bat. Other than maybe a handful of teams I really think he could be the ace of almost every team in the league. Guy is flat out filty, somewhat reminds me of myself back in my senior year of high school but with a little more zip of his fastball.

The kid is a phenom and is about to make the Washington Nationals a contender for the forseeable future with him atop the staff. So mark the calendar because Strasburg is about to start going through this league like Sly Stallone did in the movie "Over the Top".

By the way you gotta love how homerun numbers are way down over the last couple of years and pitchers are all of a sudden throwing perfect games, striking out 10 plus a game and pitching to ERA's in the sub- 3's. Guess the Steroid era is either officially on the decline or pitchers are just getting ahold of much better shit.

It's Not OK to Puke on People Cartman

Matthew Clemmens of Cherry Hill, N.J. pleaded guilty today for having intentionally puked on a father and his 11 year old daughter at a Philadelphia Phillies game on April 14, 2010. The cliff notes version of what had happend was this kid and his friend were heckling this guy and his two daughters because they were both drunk assholes and low and behold when the father had this kids friend removed for spitting at him and his daughters this Cartman look alike decides he's gonna stick his fingers down his throat and puke on them.

Now call me crazy but I think this was grounds for self defense. I havn't even stepped a foot into a single law school class but I can without a question have this guy plead insanity and get him off if he was to kill this guy right then and there. I have no clue what kind of health hazards being thrown up on can cause, a a jury would fully side with a father who just witnessed that happen to his little princess. I mean seriously you have to be one sick individual to think it is ok to even think to throw up on an 11 year old at a baseball game. Like by the looks of Matt you can tell he's definitely not fairing well with the ladies but Matt listen up buddy throwing up on them is not the route to go to grab their attention.

The funniest part about this is that Matt pretty much can get used to wearing a polo and a visor with the "golden arches" on them for the rest of his life because 5, 10, 20 years from now every time he applies for a job an employer will Google his name and POW 50 articles/blogs including BLACK CAWFEE talking about how he intentionally threw up on some guy and his daughter.

By the way one of the best lines from this article was Matt's attorney Richard Hark being quoted as saying "It's probably he consumed too much alchohol." Well Dick thanks alot for pointing that out to all of us. Someone get Obama on the line and let him know that Dick Hark would have been a better choice for Supreme Court Justice than Elena Kagan was.

"All Aboard"

What a beautiful day in New York today. The sun is shining, birds are chirping and I am preparing for my three day weekend since I will not be coming into work Monday because I make the rules and said I am going to give myself two 3 day weekends in a row with Memorial Day coming up next week. But guess what people the Subway Series starts tonight and on Sunday night at around 11:oopm I am highly confident the METS will officially be 9 games out of first place and heading into their series with Philly with the plug for life support barely sticking in the outlet.

The point is after watching last nights game (even though they won) this METS team is prime to get the shit kicked out of them by the Bronx Bombers. I can picture it right now as the players start arriving in the clubhouse. Jeter is telling Mo how he knew David Wright was never gonna be able to sniff what he is to NY, AROD is trying to talk to Cano who is ignoring the shit out of him and is talking with Tex about how they are probably gonna light Takahashi up for 10 runs tonight and are really hoping the METS trot Oli out from the pen to really nail the coffin in his embarassment of a career.

To quote Craig Carton "lock it uppppp"...the METS are going to get swept this weekend and I am not saying this because I am the most bitter METS fan walking this side of the Mississippi but because with the Yankees going into this little slide of theirs I don't see it possible that they continue this coming off two whoopins from Tampa. My reasoning for this outlash is because the METS could not be any more opposite than the Yanks. Last night John Maine throws 5 freakin pitches and is topping 80 mph on the gun and Manuel has to go out and pull him. Hey Johnny boy when your throwing high school fastballs during warmups don't you think some red flags should be raised and maybe speak up about it or do you want your team to get swept by the Nationals heading into back to back series with two of the best teams in the league.

Looking at tonights game you can bet your ass Yankee fans this is Vazquez's breaking out party. Picture a line of 7 strong with 5 hits, 1 run and 7 k's while us Mets fans will watch Texiera go deep twice and still try and justify that Daniel Murphy was a better option to go with at the time Tex was a free agent.

Tomorrow night Pelf takes the hill against Phil Hughes. I actually am looking forward to that game and not because Pelfrey is actually sort of blossoming but because Phil Hughes is my favorite pitcher in all of baseball. This kid flat out deals...mid 90's fast ball and a hook that might be the best in the game.

Then we will head into the big boys matchup Sunday night on ESPN. Where we will undoubtedly here Jon Miller say "Carlos Beltran" with his perfect hispanice accent at least a dozen times and watch CC and Johan wow us. I think they will actually both pitch really good and might be the only game the METS may squak out if the METS can score possibly more then 2 runs for "The Johan" but I am not gonna hold my breath on that.

So enjoy the beautful weekend and hopefully after the Yanks run a train on my METS we no longer will have to see this guys face come Monday morning.

HITTING THE JACKPOT...OR NOT

Last night was the NBA Lottery Special and the state of New Jersey got shit on royally like it usually does. The way the lottery works in the NBA is the worse your record is the more ping pong balls you get thrown into the mix when the commissior draws the order of the draft. Well Mikhail Prokhorow the NETS new owner will finally realize that nothing good will ever happen to that team, that even when they move to Brooklyn they will be overshadowed every single day by what LeBron is doing with the Knicks (unless maybe they can land Delonte West cause you know King James will go crazy if Gloria James is back sleeping with this guy)...

Anyway the Washington Wizards won the right to John Wall which is definitely a huge relief considering their franchise player was kicked out of the league this year for playing "Cowboys" in the lockeroom with real guns, so good for them. The 76ers will grab Evan Turner at the number two slot. Now this leaves us with the woeful NETS sitting at number three. Since I am primed to be a GM one of these days I am going to have to say that the NETS need to grab Derrick Favors out of Georgia Tech and here is why. Favors was the second biggest high school recruit last year outside of John Wall and the only reason he didn't get as much attention nationally was the fact that he chose the worse possible school to go to. I mean this kid could have called any coach in the entire country and they would have taken him without blinking an eye. Now what the NETS need to do is have Brook Lopez and Favors become a modern day version of the Twin Towers David Robinson and Tim Duncan and then come next offseason land free agent PG Chris Paul.

Now since I just gave free advice to a Russion Billionaire who could have hired me at a discount for that golden ticket to a revived franchise I want to at least be given credit by my countless readers. Oh and I also want it noted that if they select DeMarcus Cousins be rest assured that he will be the next Eddy Curry.

Now I needed to address this today only for the mere fact that I actually wasted away a half hour of my life last week praising Vince Carter. Last night was an absolute embarrassment to watch. For those who didn't watch the MAGIC are down three with 31 seconds on the clock and VC takes it to the whole right off the inbounds and gets fouled. Now all he had to do was hit one free throw with that much time left to leave the MAGIC in a position to salvage this series that I still cannot believe they are losing and what does he do..he throws up two f'in bricks. I am officially off the Vinsanity bandwagon, after watching that I took my Vince Carter plaque off my wall and shoved it under my bed with my Aaron Heilman autographed baseball. I actually was seriously thinking of throwing an entire weeks worth of pay on the MAGIC to outright put a whooping on the Celts but goes to show that I really don't know anything.

Until next time...

THE U(SC) DEBATE

ESPN has recently created a little tournament that was to decide which college football school is the best at producing NFL players and low and behold the final battle came down to the USC Trojans vs. the Miami Hurricanes. This is like choosing between Adriana Lima and Marissa Miller, you can’t get this one wrong if you are a top flight player looking to get to the NFL.

Let’s first break down the Trojans. They have had some of the greatest players ever to play in the NFL. The list consists of O.J. Simpson (“if the glove don’t fit, you must acquit”), Bruce Matthews, Anthony Munoz, Junior Seau, Marcus Allen and Ronnie Lott. Current NFL stars consist of Reggie Bush, Brian Cushing, Mark Sanchez, Matt Cassell, Matt Leinart, Carson Palmer, Lendale White and Troy Polamalu. Just looking at that list you could arguably say that O.J., Matthews, Munoz, Lott and Seau are all in the top five if not top two of the greatest players to ever play those positions and if Polamalu could ever stay healthy for a whole year we may actually be able to say he is one of the top safety’s to ever play the game. Having had the chance to go to USC this past season you can’t go wrong with choosing this school if you’re looking to get to the NFL, you have the best facilities, you play in one of the most famous college stadiums in the country and you get to spend all your time in LA where it is at least 70 degrees all year round and celebrities treat you as if you are one of them. Just look at how Matt Leinart took advantage of the fact that he was just as famous as Kobe Bryant when he was leading the Trojans to National Titles and winning Heisman trophies.

Now onto the “U”. Let’s just skip to the chase, the 2001 Miami Hurricanes were the best college football team ever assembled. This team just flat out beat the shit out of you. Just look at this list of NFL players that played on this team: Willis McGahee, Andre Johnson, Antrel Rolle, Ed Reed, Sean Taylor, Clinton Portis, Frank Gore, Phillip Buchanon, Jonathon Vilma, Vince Wilfork, William Joseph, Kellen Winslow and Jeremy Shockey. Honestly I might not even list the rest of their alum because that list alone from one team is unbelievable but it gets better, other past players include: Ray Lewis, Devin Hester, Santana Moss, Michael Irvin, Warren Sapp, Greg Olson, Kenny Phillips, Reggie Wayne, Vinny Testaverde and Jim Kelly. And top out the icing on the cake DeWayne “The Rock” Johnson played for the Canes and instead of dominating in the NFL he became one of the greatest WWF (WWE does not exist in my mind) of all time.
Like Michael Corleone said in The Godfather “it is strictIy business Sonny, not personal” and that is why I have to say the “U” brings home this one ven if my heart is with the Trojans, just the life of a blogger gotta state facts not feelings. Make no mistake USC has produced some of the greatest talent that has ever walked onto the gridiron but you can’t overlook the amount of superstar talent that has just poured out of Miami throughout the past twenty years.

But let’s take a look back ten years from now and see what some of the young USC talent has done with their NFL careers, I may have to rewrite this if Sanchez starts collecting the Lombardi Trophies.

NY Super Bowl in the Works

The JETS and GIANTS jointly announced today that they will submit a bid on Wednesday to host the 2014 Super Bowl at the new Meadowlands Stadium.

New York obviously takes a shit on both Miami and Tampa, the two other cities up for the opportunity to host that years Super Bowl. The only factor affecting this no brainer is the weather issue and the fact that New York may have about 20 feet of snow and a wind chill of negative 50 come Sunday night of the biggest game in all of sports. But that is the biggest horseshit reason not to give us the chance to have the big game here.

Think about where New York will be at come the year 2014. NYC will have bounced back fully from the recession and the ballers that roam the streets of Manhattan (I am included myself in this by that time) will have some serious money to spend on tickets, parties, dinners, hotels, etc.and on top of that the NFL has their headquarters located on Park Avenue and tell me they wouldn't be glad to reap the benefits of every public figure i.e. actor/actress, musician, athlete, models, etc. descend on their home turf and spend money like it is water.

Another factor to consider is where New York sports will stand at that time. The Yankees will have probably won at least two more World Series by then (kills me to say it), the METS will...who am I kidding will still be the Mets, the Knicks and Lebron will probably be going for at the least their second title run, the JETS would probably be going for their fourth straight title and the GIANTS may have finally rebuilt by then and could have a shot to see the Subway Super Bowl and as for the Rangers and Islanders well hopefully hockey won't even be around.

Also you have to take into consideration the biggest factor and that is global warming, I mean if Al Gore says it's happening then it definitely is. So by the year 2014 Miami and Tampa will probably have been wiped off the planet due to hurricanes which would leave you with no choice to pick New York. Realistically more then half the league plays in cold weather throughout the entire regular season and playoffs so what is the difference if its cold out the day of the Super Bowl, sack up and play the game.

The NFL needs to host the big game in the Big Apple period. There is no better sports town in the entire world. It will be the biggest sporting event in terms of a non-New York team event that has ever happend in New York history and we all know us New Yorkers will not let the NFL down. So I hope you read this Commissioner Goodell and know that if you want to expand this game globally like you are trying to do what better way then to let the best fans in the world show you how to get it done.

Maybe you'll get lucky and instead of Joe Namath getting hammered and kissing Suzy Kolber maybe we will get to see A Rod finally come out of the closet and try to lay one on Chris Berman, want to talk about ratings.