Fantasy Football Friday: Running Backs

So today will be the last time that I ever write this blog from a 5 foot by 5 foot cubicle due to the fact that it is my last day at my current job. I will be taking the next few weeks off before I officially start my first year of law school, which politely said is going to be a mothefucker.

So training camp is officially underway and I have been getting thousands of emails praising me for my intellect in terms of ranking fantasy players. So that is what I will continue to do and honor my fans with the best analysis on the planet. This week we are going to delve into running backs.

Chris Johnson: Realistically if you are in any fantasy league and he isn’t the #1 overall pick then you should all serious think about kicking that person out before the season starts. CJ is not only the most dominate runner but is the best receiving RB in the league. One of a kind player right here.

Adrian Peterson: Even with a top passing game led by Brett Favre last season AP rushed for over 1,300 yards and scored 18 times. AP is a TD machine year in and year out and on top of that has squashed the injury bug that bit him earlier in his career having played 15 of 16 games the last 2 seasons.

Maurice Jones-Drew: Last year was his first full season carrying the total running game for Jacksonville and boy did he take off with that. Rushed for 1,300 plus and found the end zone 15 times. Also had 53 receptions so is a threat coming out of the backfield as another target for David Gerhard.

Ray Rice: Breakthrough year for the little (jacked) guy from Rutgers. Emerging as the starter over oft injured Willis McGahee, Rice put up close to 1,400 yards rushing with his only downfall being that he only hit the goal line 7 times. I expect that to increase to around 12 this season. Also is a big time threat for Joe Flacco coming out of the backfield.

Frank Gore: Last second entry over my original pick of Stephen Jackson due to the fact that I think Gore is going to have a huge year in the weakest division in the NFL. His TD numbers increased almost double last year and he rushed for over 1,100 yards in only 14 games. So I expect close to 1,300 yards and 10 TD’s out of him this year.

Honorable Mentions: Steven Jackson, Michael Turner, Rashard Mendenhall, DeAngelo Williams and Jonathon Stewart

So there you have it my top five fantasy RB’s heading into this year’s drafts. Black Cawfee will be taking a week off do to my leaving for vacation. So start doing your own research as fantasy drafts are quickly approaching. Christmas in August is just around the corner.

T.O. to Gang Green?

Reports are out this morning that the NY JETS have contacted Terrell Owens agent Drew Rosenhaus regarding the possibility of the Jets looking to bring T.O. into training camp.

Now let me reiterate what I said a few weeks back about how the JETS need to slow their fuckin role down. It started with Tomlinson getting the JETS logo tattooed on his leg, then Rex Ryan coming out that he is going to write a book even though he has really done shit to this date and the ridiculous reports that the Jets contacted Jamarcus "Purple Drank" Russell about the possibility of resurrecting his career as a backup. Now the T.O. story hits the headlines and I am about to lose my shit.

Fuckin Terrell Owens sucks. He is a 36 year old washed up veteran being bounced around this league like the fat chick at the strip club because guess what, no one wants to touch this thing. My biggest issue is other than the fact that he is a complete douchebag and his TV show sucks compared to my man Ochocinco on the Ultimate Catch is who the hell are the Jets even possibly thinking of sitting down if they bring T.O. onto this team. I mean come week 4 when Santonio Holmes returns from suspension you will already have a top five receiving unit in the league with him, Edwards and Cotchery, all who are better then T.O. in my opinion at this stage of his career.

But since I am an intellectual and can see through the Jets "we want to bring anyone in we feel makes our team better" mantra is the fact that it all comes down to them wanting to become this larger than life spectacle when it comes to this seasons HARDKNOCKS. And what bigger clown can you add to this team that other then T.O.

Having said all that, I swear I will sit through every Harry Potter/ Twighlight movie and wear a freakin Hannah Montana shirt if the JETS promise me that they are just fuckin with me and that they really aren't planning to bring T.O. in.

Fantasy Football Friday: Quarterbacks

So here we are, NFL training camp is officially upon us next week. A new NFL season is like a mixture of losing your virginity, Christmas, Easter Egg Hunts and Fourth of July fireworks all rolled up in one. I love how my entire week is scheduled around managing my fantasy football team and sitting on my ass all day long on Sunday just loving every minute of the best sport on the planet.

This week I am going to give you a rundown of my top 5 fantasy quarterbacks heading into this season, so let’s get down to business:

1.)Peyton Manning: Hands down my go to pick when I have a late first round pick and don’t feel confident in the RB’s left on the board. Manning doesn’t let you down period. He will at minimum toss you over 200 yards passing and a TD, and that is usually his worst week of the year. I think he has got to have a bitter taste in his mouth coming off that Super Bowl loss. So I go with Peyton as the number one QB off the board this year.
2.)Drew Brees: Guy came out of the oblivion after being casted out in San Diego four years ago. Ever since arriving in the Big Easy Brees has been straight bossin on the football field. With a pretty decent group of weapons look for another 4,300 yards and 30 plus TD’s from the defending Super Bowl MVP.
3.)Aaron Rodgers: Ever since taking over for Favre in Green Bay Rodgers has been torching opposing defenses. He is coming into his own and I think this being his third full season under center will allow him to continue to advance his stats. With his cannon arm expect big things out of Cheesehead land this season and grab Rodgers if you have the shot.
4.)Matt Schaub: Houston put up its first ever winning season last year and barely missed the playoffs. Schaub and Andre Johnson became maybe the leagues most prominent QB/WR combo in the league and Schaub showed what he can do when he stays healthy for a whole season and that’s the risk here, always finds a way to miss a few weeks. So you gotta think to yourself is the juice worth the squeeze. My vote is YES.
5.)Tom Brady: Really was tempted to throw Tony Romo is here but I have to give it to Mr. Football here. Brady is a winner and is gotta be furious that the Pats got embarrassed in the playoffs last year. I think with a healthy Welker returning and Moss entering the final year of his contract Brady will put up some more normal Brady numbers then he has over the past 2 seasons.

Honorable mentions: Tony Romo, Phillip Rivers, Eli Manning (fuck me for saying it but I think he is going to have a good year)

Now as I kick myself for not charging for this priceless bit of information all you stiffs out there have a good weekend.

C'mon Already

I had the pleasure of attending the live taping of Joe Buck Live a few months back and Floyd Mayweather was a guest on the show. Now I have to say I usually am not star struck but he had this attitude and swagger about him and I could distinctively remember saying to myself "this guy is the fuckin' man"". Now we fast forward to today's date and I think that "this guy's a fuckin puss". For months now we have been waiting to see if Pacquiao-Mayweather is truly going to come to fruition. Over the past weekend rumors were Pacquiao had agreed to the blood testing that Floyd so eagerly wanted and that a deadline of Saturday at midnight was declared to see if they can get this fight set up at some point this year. Well that deadline came and went and no agreement was set in place and now Pacquiao will fight either Maragarito or Cotto at some point.

Now this is my problem here with boxing and why the sport is pretty much irrelevant compared to what the UFC has become. Here you have the two best fighters on the planet who would each make upward of $25 million for this fight alone and no deal has been set in place yet. Are you kidding me with this Pacquiao-Cotto or Maragaria shit, I can give a shit. You think I gave a shit about Mayweather-Mosley, yea maybe like 10 years ago when Mosley moved faster then my Dad does. This is exactly why boxing is a dieing sport because the big guns that can revive this sport refuse to hash out a deal.

Do you think that George St. Peirre or Anderson Silva would not agree to fight someone or hold out on an agreement this long, hell no. Rampage Jackson got shit for backing out of the Rashad Evans fight due to a "scheduling conflict" and the minute rumors started swirling around about how he might be scared Rampage jumped back on board to make sure the fight eventually took place. Well until Floyd jumps on this boat and agrees to fight Pacquiao you cannot say that he is one of the best fighters ever just because he hasn't lost yet. When you are at the top of your game and another challenger who may dethrone you steps to the plate you have no choice but to fight.

So let's hope for Mayweather's legacy's sake and my own personal want for this fight that it happens because it will be one sick night of boxing and that is something that hasn't happen in a really really long time.

Fantasy Football Friday

So since my weekly Friday Wrap-Up idea got the rug pulled out from under it, I’ve decided to roll out a new concept for Friday’s known as “Fantasy Football Friday”. Each and every Friday between now and the end of the summer when Fantasy Football drafts begin I will break down each and every position on a weekly basis. Now since I am a fantasy guru and have placed in the top 2 of my fantasy league over the past four years I would take my advice very seriously and use these hidden gems when it is your turn in your draft.

The schedule over the course of the next few weeks will be broken down accordingly: QB’s. RB’s. WR’s. TE’s, Defense, Defensive Players, Rookies, Bench Players, Sleepers and Kickers. Now I must take into consideration that all league’s are scored differently so I want it to be known now that I am just going to go based on overall talent and who I perceive to be the most valuable when it comes to the majority of leagues.

Today I would like to do a quick breakdown of my top 10 players that are available purely based off of what I believe actually I take that last statement back, these are Grade A quality facts that will 1.) make you look like you know what the fuck you are doing and 2.) will most likely put money in your pocket when you win your league.

So here we go the list of my Top 10 Overall Players available:
1.) Chris Johnson: after a phenomenal rookie season he burst out on to the season with an amazing ground game and a tremendous ability to catch the ball out of the back field. He is a consistent scorer who will put points on the board for you each and every week.
2.) Adrian Peterson: Held the ranks as the number one pick the last two seasons but has been dethroned in my opinion. AP still most likely is the best RB in the game but his receiving ability is not even in the same range as CJ and that is what separates them. Still a solid like for 1200 yards on the ground and 15 TD’s.
3.) Maurince Jones-Drew: What a huge year for MJD last year. 1300+ yards Rushing and 15 TD’s. I fully expect him to continue to shoulder the load and become a red zone machine this year.
4.) Ray Rice: Breakout year for Ray. Has shown he can handle the pressure of being a featured back and outside of CJ is the most prominent threat in the league coming out of the backfield. Gave the edge to MJD but I might even consider him at #3.
5.) Frank Gore: Pound the ball is Frank Gore’s model and I see him increasing both his total yards and TD’s this coming season. Is showing star capability and could put this 49er team on his back due to the lack at the QB position.
6.) Andre Johnson: 1500+ receiving yards and 10 TD’s in my mind earns him the respect as a top overall player. I expect those TD’s to increase even more as Matt Schaub continues to become a player in this league and a potential playoff berth may be on the horizon for the Texan’s.
7.) Drew Brees: Guy is flat out playing his ass off like he has some sort of chip on his shoulder. I prefer Peyton Manning personally but the numbers haven’t lied the last couple of years and Brees has better weapons overall then Manning has. Look for another big year on Bourbon Street.
8.) Peyton Manning: Like I said above I prefer Manning due to his consistency and his ability play each and every week. Solid pick no matter what.
9.) Larry Fitzgerald: No more Boldin means more opportunities for Fitz to get the ball and put up more points. Only downfall with this is Kurt Warner is gone and newly appointed QB Matt Leinart is in, won’t work out if they don’t have the chemistry
10.) Michael Turner: Not so much a great year like he had in 2008 but we will chalk it up to the fact that an ankle injury limited him to only appear in 11 games. I think he will bounce back big time and a team who in my opinion underachieved last year will have something to prove. Expect 1200+ rushing yards and 10 TD’s.

So that is this week’s breakdown. Take it or leave it but my personally opinion is I know more than you so I think it is in your best interest to take note of what I said.

Until next week..

...AND YOU TOTALLY REDEEM YOURSELF!!!

First off having Entourage back in my life is the best way to end a weekend in the summer. This show never disappoints and always leaves you wanting more. The fact that that law school is starting to creep up watching Ari makes me dream of the possibility that one day I will run my own agency and pretty much dominate the shit out of the sports world and get players contracts that their kids kids kids will be able to live off of. But I’ll hold off on my vision for taking over the sports world in some capacity at another time, what we are here to talk about today is Chris Paul and how he is my new favorite athlete.

So last night Caremelo Anthony tied the knot with Lala Vazquez in NYC (you know the MTV VJ) and that was the biggest mistake of his life but I am not here on divulging advice to professional athletes just yet. But what this wedding spurred out was during CP3’s speech he had made mention that there may be a new “Big 3” about to form in the Big Apple. Chris said that Melo, himself and Amare Stoudemire (who was in attendance) may form the second big three over the next couple of years when Paul and Melo become free agents and join Amare with the Knicks and create the biggest rivalry the NBA has ever seen.

Chris Paul is GOD. When I thought nothing could get worse for the Knicks then giving Amare a max deal when there is no shot in hell he is worth that without a star studded PG dishing him the ball CP3 makes the greatest statement of all time. Pretty much is telling the LBJ, Wade and Bosh tandem that you think that you guys are gonna control this league for the next 10 years you can “forgheddaboudit” where gonna take 3 of the best players in the league too and add the “Italian Stallion” Danillo Gallinari and just start fucking up all three of your worlds.

All I know is that Donnie F’n Walsh better 1.) stay alive for the next 2 years 2.) stay under the cap so we can bounce back from this offseason debacle and just maybe put together a threesome that would be just as pretty as Marissa Miller, Adriana Lima and E’s secretary on Entourage/Turtles limo driver that he fired and Henry, Tommy and Jimmy from Goodfellas. So keep the hope alive Knicks fans there just might be something brewing here and if you gave me a tandem of CP3, MELO AND AMARE call me crazy I might take them over the The Queen and his peasants down in Miami.

GOD BLESS AMERICA!!!!

LeBronolution

If you don’t know that tonight at 9:00pm is ESPN’s special one hour show entitled “The Decision” where LeBron James is going to announce what team he plans on signing with then you should probably kill yourself. I have had a pit in my stomach like someone kicked me in the nuts for the past 2 days waiting for this announcement to happen.

As a recap of my experience the last few days it has been a lot of refreshing on the internet at work waiting for a new story to come out by any media outlet, following different people on Twitter and watching Chris Broussard make up ridiculous shit like people are running to tell him the inside scoop. But what I really want to get down to today is the fact that reports are indicating that LeBron is leaning toward signing with the Miami Heat and will join D Wade and C Bosh down in South Beach. Let’s get something straight if that scenario is to play out LeBron James just guaranteed himself one thing and that is that he will never be allowed to compare himself to Jordan or Kobe ever.

Now there are a lot of great players who have stuck with their teams to win titles or try to win titles i.e. Hakeem Olajuwon, Paul Pierce, Karl Malone (gave it a run but never quite won it) but for the sake of this post let’s just stick with Kobe and Jordan. I will put my unborn children’s lives on the line that Kobe and Jordan would never even think twice about joining a team that has a player who is already the man on that team and that city and on has already won a title. If LeBron is to do the unthinkable and join this All Star squad in Miami he is doing himself an injustice. He is making it known that he himself doesn’t have what it takes to win a title and that is something that great players would never admit too. Kobe pushed out one of the best centers of all time if not one of the greatest players of all time and has continued on winning titles without Shaq. Jordan left the Bulls for one year, they didn’t do shit, he came back and won the whole thing.

So the point is that if LeBron really wants to make a mark he has two choices, stay in Cleveland or go to the Knicks. Any other choice will never allow him to fully reach the legacy that he could leave when he is long gone. But if I see him throw on a Miami Heat hat at tonight’s press conference then the NBA will be dead to me. I have decided that tonight’s decision will affect my entire life. IF LEBRON IS A MIAMI HEAT THEN I OFFICIALLY QUIT THE NBA. What type of fun would this league be? All the rings they may win together in my mind don’t really count as much as what some other superstar players have done to win a title.

So LeBron choose wisely my friend because your entire life’s work will be on the line with the choice that you make tonight.

P.S. If he throws on a Knicks hat I may piss my pants, shit my pants and cry all at the same time, no joke.

Life Support

So last night the NY Knicks officially began the rebuilding process by signing Amar'e Stoudemire to a 5 year/$100 million deal. Now although Amar’e is far and away better than any player the Knicks have had over the last ten years he is not the type of player that can carry your team to a Finals let alone most likely not even the playoffs without a legit star player alongside him.

Put it this way, if by the end of the week LeBron and Wade signed elsewhere and Melo agrees to an extension with the Nuggets the KNICKS have officially set themselves back another decade and I will be forced to abandon ship.

Now some of you might think who abandon’s ship of their favorite team especially one that you have been following your whole life. Well it’s simple when that team for more than half of your life has sucked more than any franchise in all of sports and then when the time comes where they may rise from the abyss they completely tank their opportunity and set you back again another ten. That is when it’s ok to throw in the towel and sign the divorce papers.

Because there is no shot in hell I can continue to have no rooting interest in a major sport, it just isn’t fun. I never understood how people don’t have favorite teams. You might as well not even watch sports. So let it be known today that if all does not workout with another major star player to go tag team with Amar’e I will be placing an order on the OKC Thunder website for my home/away Kevin Durant jersey because they will be my knew favorite team.
So step up to the plate Mr. Dolan, Donnie Walsh and Coach D’Antoni and make sure that you can back that ridiculous contract that you gave Amar’e up with a player that will at least be able to carry the KNICKS to the rightful place they belong. At the top.

And like I have said before to quote Michael Corleone “It’s not personally Amar’e, it’s just business”.

I hope Tiger Hooks Up with Beyonce

So right now as I write this soon to be masterpiece blog post the Knicks are sitting somewhere outside of Akron, Ohio pitching to Lebron James why he NEEDS to become a New York Knickerbocker. Now combining LeBron James with NYC is like pairing me with Marissa Miller just two perfect specimens that God himself couldn't make better. It has been what feels like my entire life waiting for this day to arrive and this Knick plan better come thru because in my mind it is Lebron or bust no matter who they get.

Now before the Knicks stepped into the room today Mikhail Prokhorov, the NETS new billionaire owener and Jay-Z held the first meeting with King James. Now let's just make this clear going forward I refuse to ever buy a Jay-Z song on ITunes (not like I do anyway but let's pretend I still pay for music) or ever go to a Jay-Z concert in my life (which I still haven't) if LeBron signs with the freakin NJ Nets. Now I don't blame Prokhorov for being a cocky asshole cause 1.) he's Russian 2.) he's a billionaire but Jay-Z hit a nerve with me this morning. He raps about how great New York is and sits front row at Knicks game but for some reason since he owns .00001% of the NETS he feels like he has some entitlement. Well message for you Jay-Z stop using New York as a background for you to make millions of dollars and see how rapping about a New Jersey State of Mind goes for you.

But there is a way for Jay-Z to redeem himself and that is to do whatever you can to sell his minute ownership stake in the NETS to anyone on the street and get on board with Jimmy Dolan and the Knicks and revive the Mecca of Basketball. I beg you to not allow Prokhorov to entice LeBron with the billions he has and the strippers he chills with all day to think that the NETS will ever be to this city what the Knicks are. So do what is right Jigga Man and maybe I'll pony up the $500 on stubhub for the Yankee Stadium concert with Eminem.

Anyway I sit here in a pool of sweat just thinking about what the hell is going on in that meeting. Child hood memories of LJ's 4 point play, Houston's runner and John Stark's throwing down on MJ have just been replaying in my head over and over and I need the Knicks to be sick again. So keep the hopes up and pray to god someway somehow the Knicks land the King and basketball will once again be King of New York.

P.S. For those of you who haven't seen this yet below is the billboard that Prokhorow and Jay-Z had painted outside Madison Square Garden. Actually pretty dope and you know they brought a picture of that with LeBron next to them to their meeting this morning...shit.