HARDKNOCKS WILL WIN AN EMMY

Now when the NY Jets signed on to be the team that is featured this year on HBO'S Hardknocks I was pretty pumped. Purely for the fact that for my entire life the Jets logo never appeared on ESPN and now all of a sudden after last seasons run and a few additions they have become the talk of the league.

But I have to say that things are getting a little ridiculous in Jersey these days. First off Rex Ryan has now signed a book deal that will be a memoir of his life up to this point. Now I love Rex more than you can imagine, guy is the pure definition of what a head football coach should be but he is joking me right. He is about to jinx this whole operation they got going on and you want to know how, because only coaches who win SUPER BOWLS write fuckin books Rex (i.e. Sean Payton, Tony Dungy, John Gruden). So leave your David Patterson skills for after you win it and then it'll actaully be worth reading.

Next is LT showing his mug on ESPN with Sal Palantonio today talking about how he now has a JETS logo tattoo on his calf with 2010- underneath it, just like his CHARGERS logo he has that reads 2001-2010. He then goes into how this is a Super Bowl caliber team which it is but then the big grin on his face lights up when he is asked if he is gonna win out the starting job and that is where I say slow your role Ladanian. You are here for two reasons only to get your ass in the end zone or catch balls out of the back field and thats it. This is Shonn Greene's team now. He trucked us through the playoffs and is primed to have a phenomenal sophomore season. So sit back with your visor on, look all gangsta but do not think that your gonna start causing a rift because your a future hall of famer. Be happy the JETS allowed you on this all-star team and a shot at capping your career off with a ring.

And last but not least is the report that the JETS are looking into bringing in Jamarcus Russell as a possible back up QB candidate. I have no words for this because it has to be a joke. I would rather get Quincy Carter out of retirement before I would ever think to bring Jamarcus Russell on this team. But I see what they are trying to do though make Vernon Gholsten not feel so bad about himself by bringing in an even worse draft bust.

Anyway this is how I get when my team is suppose to be good. NY METS 2007 I talked more shit that year about them then any other year combined and what happens they blow an 8 1/2 game lead with 10 games to play and miss the playoffs followed by the same disaster the following year. So I refuse to let this happen to me with the JETS, I am going to be the most negative fan all the way to the end and then I will never ever shut the fuck up about how this team might be the greatest assembled team in the last 20 years.

So now let's pray to God Rex keeps designing defensive schemes to shut down a rejuvenated Tom Brady, Tomlinson learns his role and Jamarcus Russell gets my all you can eat buffet card that I sent over to his house and he keeps his weight above the 300lbs. mark so there is no shot of him signing with the JETS.

P.S. But if none of that happens you can bet your ass HARDKNOCKS will win the emmy for best reality TV show.

America, Fuck Yeah!!

I can honestly sit here and with joy say that I was so pumped to be watching a soccer game and not because Landon Donovan put in the game winning goal in the 91st minute but because I was able to get the fuck out of my cubicle and go sit in a nice leather conference room chair watching a flat screen tv drinking a freaking Red Bull, that is what all Wednesday mornings should be like.

Now in all seriousness that was a pretty sweet ending. I swear if we would have tied one more godforsaken game I would have seriously started a petition to ban soccer in America. We don't play for ties in America we either win or we win none of this draw crap. And to make it even worse if those sneaky little Brits would have advanced over us after beating Slovenia that would have put the icing on another terrible World Cup. Instead our all time leading scorer buries a rebound shot in the back of the net with seconds away from the game coming to a close and gives us only our second First Place Group finish since 1930.

Soccer will never be cool in the U.S., I don't care if we run a train and take down Argentina and Brazil it just won't ever be that great here. But for the time being I have to say I am pretty pumped to be advancing because like I said last week I bleed Red, White and Blue and this just shows that even when America is not the best at something we will evenutally catch up and when that happens the rest of the world might as well get out of the way.

So sit back and pray that we get to face those damn Germans because you can guarantee we will shithouse them on Saturday like we did in WWII.

Damn, it feel great to be an American.

World Cup Rant

Now I know nothing nor care to know anything about soccer. The only reason I am even paying any remote attention to the World Cup is because I literally bleed Red, White and Blue. First we tie England which was considered a victory for the U.S. which in my opinion is a bunch of shit. Do you think we would have settled for a tie in the Revolutionary War, hell no. I can't bare to even compare England to America. England sucks, it is pretty much like Seattle but people there have different accents and their food sucks. So by no means do I considere that a victory whatsoever, I would have rather lost expecially since the only f'n goal we scored was because their numbnuts goalie who has one job to do couldn't hold on to a ground ball kicked directly at him.

Anyway moving on to this mornings game. Now us sports analysts (which I like to call my self among other titles) could have pinpointed this game against Slovenia as a downright sleeper game for the U.S. We come off a nice little moral victory by not losing to England and we think we are a mortal lock to advance to the next round. Well guess what happend Slovenia came out and pretty much ran shit on us for the first half. 2-0 in a soccer game is like a 35-0 lead in the NFL comebacks never happen. Well guess what sine the U.S. dominates the shit out of everything and Slovenia might as well not even exist they allowed us to get back in this game and tie it up at the 82 minute mark (by the way pisses me off to watch a clock count upwards when watching a game, drives me insane).
Then Koman Coulibaly comes along and totally tries to single handedly take down America by calling...I have no f'n clue what he called and neither did all these soccer analysts,by taking away a free kick goal that was scored by the U.S. in the 86th minute. I'll tell you what and since I don't plegarize shit on Black Cawfee I saw this line on another blog and it said and I quote "If this wasn’t the USA this Koman dude would be dead already" and ain't that the truth. If he would have done that to the Spaniards or the Germans this guy would be face down in a ditch somewhere but since we think that ties in the World Cup are something to be proud of because we suck and shouldn't have a shot is why we are ok with another tie.

Shit pisses me off..all I know is that if the U.S. doesn't go out and mash Algeria I am flying to South Africa and am taking over the reigns of U.S. Men's Soccer because it's about time that America dominates the shit out of the #1 so called sport in the world (please if Europe had anything that sniffed the NFL soccer wouldn't even be played anymore).

So look for me on TV next week when the U.S. plays again because I will be all up in Altidore's grill if he doesn't start stepping his shit up.

P.S. On to a real sport, Mets are gonna steam roll through the Bronx this weekend.

Vince Young Making It Rain

So over the weekend Tennessee Titans QB Vince Young was cited for getting in a fight at a Dallas stripclub with one of the managers. Before I get into this story you have to watch the video..so click it below.


Now after having seen that I don't blame Vince Young for wanting to pop this Uncle Phil look alike in the mouth, I mean who does that guy think he is disrespecting VY by throwing him the "horns down" symbol. First off what kind of businessman is this. Guy runs a stripclub that Vince Young wants to spend his Sunday morning in dropping hundys all over the place just making it rain like he is Pacman Jones and this guy has the audacity to mock him. Business 101 buddy when a multimillionaire athlete walks into your joint you flower him with the greatest ammenitites known to man so he continues to spend dollar after dollar after dollar.

Second point is when you are a 5'9'' 300 lbs. out of shape manager I would say it isn't in your best interest to be starting wih a 6'6" 250lbs. NFL QB who will destroy you like Vince was about to do had he not been held back by the thousands of people that somehow managed to appear in that 6x3 foot room within seconds.

And last but not least is one of my biggest pet peaves of all and that is girls getting involved in brawls. Like this Lady Gaga look alike at the end of the fight who starts throwing a choke hold on my man in the striped shirt playing hand grab with the manager. Little lesson for this chick, when you see eight grown men all over the weight of 250 lbs. throwing fists you should take a page out of the brunette haired girls book and high tail it out of there for your own safety.

Now since the story broke Vince Young has publicly apologized and has pleaded that Commissioner Goodell cut him some slack on the suspension he undoubtedly will be handed down. I don't think VY deserves anything more than a slap on the wrist because let's be real here when your a superstar athlete who has won a National Championship and an NFL Rookie of the Year Award you can't let minions running strip clubs disrespect you like that or you gonna get that "horns down" symbol turned right side up your ass.

Ridonkulous Debut

There are absolutely no words to describe what Washington Nationals Rookie Stephen Strasburg did last night. Want to talk about living up to the hype; I can’t think of any player in any sport ever who’s ever dominated as much as he did last night in their debut. Not LeBron, not A-Rod, not Griffey, not Crosby, not Tiger, not Federer, not Peyton, not anyone that was hyped up this much put on a performance like the 21 year old righty did last night.

His line was ridiculous, 7 IP, 4 Hits, 2 Earned Runs, 14 K’s and 0 Walks. He was one strikeout away from tying the record for a MLB debut with Bob Feller who in 1936 struck out 15. It wasn’t even his fastball that impressed me the most which he consistently was pumping 97-98 mph on the gun and topping out at 101mph but it was his curveball that was so f’n ridiculous it was scary. Kid was painting corners with the hook which was making All Stars like Andrew McCutchen look like they belonged back in Single A ball.

Truth be told I am not surprised Strasburg dominated like he did. Yea 14 K’s is absurd but he has been dominating the Minors like he was playing in the Little League World Series the past two months. He already would be an ace on more than half of the teams in the Majors now and he is just starting out. It is going to be scary to see how good this kid is going to get. Stuff like this comes around once in a generation. He has Hall of Fame caliber stuff already and he is still learning how to get even better.

His next start will be Sunday against the Cleveland Indians on the road, it was reported today that an additional 1,000 tickets have been sold within the last 24 hours and it will sure be a sell out to watch him make his follow up start to his debut. Worst part about this is the fact that he is going to have a field day with the METS over the next 15 years if he remains a National for his entire career (c’mon we all know the Yanks are going to swoop in when he becomes a free agent and hand him some record breaking contract).

Anyway, this is the kind of thing that makes sports so awesome. When kids like this come along and leave you astonished at how amazing they really are. So sit back and enjoy the next ten years because Stephen Strasburg has arrived and is about to make baseball history.

The End of an Era

Let’s first start this briefly off with Jim Joyce and how he must feel like the biggest piece of shit on the face of the planet for having blown that last out of Armando Galarraga’s perfecto last night. Let’s just hope that MLB makes the right move here and awards him the perfect game even though it really doesn’t matter because the best part of the whole experience is the celebration and how Armando for the one and only time in his life would have felt like he actually was going to succeed in the majors, but kiss that goodbye cause you can bet your ass that within a few years the only Galarraga that baseball fans will even know is this guy the “Big Cat”...

Now for today’s real topic and that is Ken Griffey Jr. announcing his retirement from baseball. To be quite honest this makes me feel old as shit. I mean I have seen players that I grew up watching retire but never has a player that I felt I watched his entire career from beginning to end hang ‘em up in any sport. Junior was the absolute man, between the ages of 5 and 13 I wanted to be him more than anyone else in the world (then I hit puberty and I wanted to be like any guy who was hooking up with a chick). Guy just rocked the backwards hat, had the sweetest stroke in the history of baseball, starred in all time classic movies like Little Big League and had guest appearances on shows like The Fresh Prince of Bel Air.

Anyway having played his whole career through the Steroid Era Griffey managed to keep his name from being tarnished like all the other “supposed greats” that cheated their way to the numbers they put up. He is 5th all time in homers at 630, has won 11 gold gloves, was selected to 13 All Star games, won 3 home run derby’s, 11 silver slugger awards, was the 1997 MLB MVP and was selected to the Major League Baseball All Century Team. Now you can bet your entire savings that Junior will be a first ballot lock for the Hall of Fame.

But even though Junior put up the great numbers real fans of his will never forget certain moments of his career such as making one of the greatest catches ever running into the wall breaking his wrist, scoring on Edgar Martinez’ double against the Yankees in Game 5 of the 1995 ALDS in extra innings, putting on an absolute show at Camden Yards when he was putting balls off the buildings outside of the stadium during the home run derby and when him and his father hit back to back homers in a game during the 1990 season (a feat that will never happen again).

There really is nothing else that can define “The Kid” other than that he was completely fuckin awesome. He was hands down my child hood idol and even though he hasn’t been the same player for the past five years he still played the game the same way he did back when he was a 19 year old rookie. Junior retiring is like Robert DeNiro not starring in mafia movies anymore, shit is just not gonna be the same for a while.

So excuse me while I go squeeze into my #24 jersey, break out my baseball cards, my gold plated Ken Griffey Jr. coin, my All Star plaque, my street sign, my bobble head and stickers and create the greatest shrine ever in the history of shrines in the back of my closet for the legend Ken Griffey Jr.

National(s) Phenom

So today the Washington Nationals announced that pitcher Stephen Strasburg the #1 overall pick of last years draft and two time All-American at San Diego State will make his MLB debut on June 8 against the Pirates.

Now I pride myself on my ability to see talent at a very young age and Strasburg might be the greatest talent that I have ever seen entering professional sports since Peyton Manning. This kid has been ripping up the minor leagues this season. In 10 minor league starts he has posted a 6-2 record with a 1.43 era and 60 k's in 50 1/3 innings, including a 3-1 record in Triple A ball with a 1.27 era.

Baseball is hands down the sport where young up and coming talent doesn't get the recognition right off the bat that guys coming into the NFL, NBA or even the NHL get. I mean players that are highly regarded make immediate impacts in those leagues and that is not the case in baseball. Players drafted number one overall can sometimes spend 5 years in the minors before even sniffing the big leagues and when it is time for them to come up the average fan doesn't even remember who this guy is. Well let me tell you something, every sports fan should be locked in for when Strasburg makes his debut because you are going to be witnessing a guy who is a legit ace right off the bat. Other than maybe a handful of teams I really think he could be the ace of almost every team in the league. Guy is flat out filty, somewhat reminds me of myself back in my senior year of high school but with a little more zip of his fastball.

The kid is a phenom and is about to make the Washington Nationals a contender for the forseeable future with him atop the staff. So mark the calendar because Strasburg is about to start going through this league like Sly Stallone did in the movie "Over the Top".

By the way you gotta love how homerun numbers are way down over the last couple of years and pitchers are all of a sudden throwing perfect games, striking out 10 plus a game and pitching to ERA's in the sub- 3's. Guess the Steroid era is either officially on the decline or pitchers are just getting ahold of much better shit.